Be Who You
Are! And Do It Well! Be Who You Are!
And Do It Well! Be Who You Are! And
Do It Well!

Be Who You Are! And Do It Well!

Tomorrow is the Feast of Saint Francis de Sales (1567-1622), who was bishop of Geneva for two decades in the early 17th century, a particularly tough gig given the religious and political turmoil of that period in history. I have always felt a certain affection for him because he was ordained to the priesthood despite the opposition of his father. A famous piece of advice which Francis offered to a woman he was helping in spiritual direction was, “Be who you are and be that well.”  Today, we might change a couple of words: “Be who you are, and do it well!” He believed that the only way people could be loving (holy or saint are two technical words for loving), be what God wanted of them, was by being themselves and not trying to be somebody else in the grind of daily life.

Three and a half years ago, a group called the Knights of Saint Columba came to Jersey for their annual UK conference, inviting me to give the Jack McArdle Lecture before their Radisson banquet  (I remember the event well because four days before, I was informed I had cancer). In my address, “On Being Yourself: A Few Thoughts on Sainthood”, - I shared a tale which I have told before in these Friday Thoughts. It was the story of how I was told off as a teenager by the Assistant England and GB amateur boxing coach for trying to imitate a famous boxer rather than relaxing into my own boxing style.  “Paul, a quick word. Stop trying to be George Gilbody. You look a bit like George, move like George, but you’re just not as good.  There is no way you can imitate someone else and be great. To be great, you have to be yourself!”  Wise words!  As Francis de Sales also counsels, it is important to be who we are (not someone else) and do it well.  We can never be happy, never be what God wants us to be, never be a saint, never be truly great, if we try to be someone else.  Happiness means settling into our own skin.  We can, of course, learn and borrow elements from the lives of others, but we will only ever be ourselves by letting the law of love find its own way of coming through the raw material that is given to us and the particular personal circumstances which we face in the world.

Towards the end of his life, the famous Irish atheist author and playwright George Bernard Shaw was asked in an interview, “If you could live your life all over again, which person in the world would you most like to be?”  In a poignant tone, he answered, “I would choose to be the man George Bernard Shaw could have been, but wasn’t.” When our own time comes to exit stage left, will we have any regrets?  What might they be?  Not having lived authentically, not being our true self?  Having spent too much time trying to fit in with the expectations of others?  Letting certain relationships slide?  Spending too much time at work instead of with those we love?  Not having been more present to those we have in our lives?  My friend, the Irish Jesuit Michael Paul Gallagher, used to say, “Today might not have been, and today will never come back again.  Death makes life urgent for love.”  If anything needs changing, today is the day to do it.

“Be who you are and be that well.”